The Llama Scribe

February 21, 2008

It’s Bruised Bottom Season

Filed under: Uncategorized — antoinette jeanine @ 6:28 am
Tags: , ,

Here it’s day two of the experiment, and I’ve already thought about skipping. I suppose I am nothing if not disciplined, so here goes.

Let’s talk about the fucking weather.

I live in Illinois, in the part of the state that has more to do with corn, soy, and the second amendment than jazz and neon green relish on hot dogs. And while I can drive south for an hour and ogle an enormous aluminum cross erected aside the highway, I still like it here a great deal. My isolated little college town is a bastion of sanity in a wasteland of absurdity, and the longer I live here, the more small, lovable things I find hidden away. Unfortunately, I can’t possibly imagine myself staying here, and there’s one reason why- November through March.

I’m not the kind of person who generates happiness internally. My boyfriend is- he walks around as though there were hamsters on a wheel inside his chest cavity, cranking out a constant stream of joy. I take my cues from my environment, and when that environment is bleak and unforgiving for half of the year- well, I get cranky.

And it’s not just the psycho-emotional effects of the weather, either. The presence of a perpetual layer of water, in a deadly conflation of states, in a murky mess on the ground, has a more deeply physical consequence.

Suffice it to say that, while I may not be the most graceful person, I do take pride in my ability to pull off one hell of a wipeout.

I wear long pants, pants that are too long for my legs, not out of fashion or a pathological hatred of the sight of my feet. I wear long pants because I am a stumpy person- thanks to a simply delightful genetic cocktail- and, surprisingly enough, there is no “Short ‘n’ Stumpy” store in the mall. Pants have no traction. I have no grace. I fall down. A lot.

Which is why, as I write this, I am plucking the gravel from my spinal column, and pining for Nicaragua.

Oh, Nicaragua.

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